Hey hey It's Coach E, Before We Get This Party Started, Let Me Give You the Backstory.

Hey hey everyone, 

It's Coach E. Thats short for Elizabeth, I am so happy you are here with me and I am so happy and so grateful that you stumbled upon my Art Shop // Blog - So thank you on a TRILLION for checking out my art // work // blog - it truly means so much to me. 

SO how did I get here, 

Let's see where do I begin ....

December 17th, 1976 - the day I was a Surprise, I arrived into this world to my parents surprise, as my mother did not know she was carrying me, yes it's possible, because it actually happened to me, with my 4th & last baby, I was unaware of her presence until about my 5th month, but that's another story for another day. 

When I look back on my life, and see and understand how my parents lives affected me in my life and growing through situations and LIFE now in my adult life, it's so incredibly true, that life makes sense backwards and you begin to reconnect the dots as per Gods Divine Plan. 

When I was 6 months old, I came down with a pneumonia, back then doctors instructed my parents to stick me in a tub of ice water to bring down my high fever, well, now looking back at that whole situation, I think that the shock of being submerged in ice water was a shock to my little body, and exacerbated my breathing, which, from then on I suffered with asthma and bronchitis for the latter of my childhood, after I turned 13, hospital visits, stays and emergency room runs, became my normal, and honestly it was horrible, I never felt normal, I felt like an outcast as I could never fully participate in gym or sports, aside from all that crazy,

I also lived in a very loving yet turbulent home, my mother a dotting, loving, soft spoken mama bear and my father, loving -  yet explosive temperamental / abusive, it made my existence very terrifying as my anxiety was always at an all time high, I felt like I was my mothers keeper, protecting her from his outbursts and hurting her, I would get in the middle and let him take it out on me, whether it was verbal or physical, either way the scars that still live in my heart, will probably never fully heal, ( I am working on it, Jesus and me, we got this ) 

Between living and struggling with this Chronic Illness and my home life, I feel that - that strengthened me, it helped me be more compassionate, to be patient and be kind to everyone, and to become what I now call myself- a pillow of love and support for all those I meet, and get to pour into. 

I feel that our life's trials and tribulations help mold us into the people we become, it's tricky, because this situation could have easily hardened my heart and made me bitter, but GOD knew what he was doing with me, when he created me, he knew the plan and the destiny he had in store for me was GREATER than any of the challenges I would have to grow through or the pockets of time I would be in my wilderness, he was helping me see that one day, what I thought was my biggest thorn, would become my biggest blessing. 

And Glory be to God, that he blessed me with the Gift of Creation, the Gift of ART, he created me with a VISION to have the want to Create ART and Help PEOPLE, and what that looked like for me when I declared that at the tender age of 7, I had no idea what my future would look like, yet I knew it was going to be an adventure. 

And listen, I went through my own struggles as a child, teenager, young adult, young woman, new mom, new wife, chronic illness, life and death, grief and all the craziness that life can throw at you, God blessed me with what I call my Armor, he blessed me with a zest for life and a tenacity to go after everything I ever wanted - no matter what. 

Such is life, life happens, being with my husband and raising our four children, still living and being extremely challenged with my asthma, building my art and graphic design business, doing my best to juggle it all, I felt overwhelmed and behind the ball, I had moments in my life where I felt like I wasn't enough or that I wasn't doing enough, in those days I was very much disconnected to my faith and to GOD

( big mistake ) I looked outward instead of looking inward, a fell into a season of silently suffering with a deep depression that I hid, I masked it well, as that is something I learned from my childhood, back then the only place I felt safe was in my sketchbooks and my journals. And in the season I was walking through I had found my way back to my art after letting it go for 10 years. 

Let me express this to you my friends, the things that are innately a part of you, you need to hold unto those things, you need to nurture your natural born god given gifts, always, because they are a part of you, the second you let them go, you slowly die without those pieces of you, that is how I felt when I didn't have my outlet to express my heart.

After I had my 4th baby, God was calling me, he was calling me back to my purpose, ART. I restarted my Art career in 2010, I immersed myself in relearning photoshop, corel painter, drew everyday to develop my signature style and began selling my artwork online, I threw myself into the world of Graphic Design, creating for my clients, their brands, logo's and websites, and I loved it, I was beginning to see the fruits of my labor begin to take off. I felt somewhat accomplished, I felt like I came back to life, I could see my children having their natural artistic abilities and that thrilled me no end. I felt I was beginning to see and understand the path God had created for me. 

And again, sometimes GOD has a great and funny way to throw a curve ball and reawaken you when you aren't  living according to his divine plan. 

2014 was the year that I was extremely sick, at that point from 2002- 2020 I lived in the hospital, my health was at its all time lowest, partially my fault for not taking my life threatening illness seriously and becoming all to complacent with the fact that my hospital was literally around the corner 10 minutes away, I got used to the idea that an emergency room run, they would get me feeling better and I would go home and do it all over again. I would run myself down, taking care of 4 young children with a severe lung problem and not asking for help most of the time, thinking I could handle it all, instead of leaning on my husband, I hurt myself a lot of the time unnecessarily.

The things you learn as you mature and grow into your relationship, I tell you. 

August of 2014, I suffered a massive asthma attack, went into cardiac arrest, flatlined ( and for 8 minutes )  I was with God, before he sent me back, as per what I heard, after pleading to go home to be with my mother, 

No, 

It's not your time, 

You have much to do, 

Wake up.

Breathe.

and well, to say that this ordeal changed the rest of my tomorrows is an understatement, this is another blog post and Youtube video, as I realize now, how God blessed me with allowing me to see and feel what Heaven would feel like when the actual time came, as that experience showed me that I have a bigger message to deliver to all of you. 

Shortly after that happened, I had another life changing moment, that is of no coincidence, I opened one of my many books, and asked God on that moment, Ok God what do you need me to see, and there it was - the quote I live by and share with all those I meet;

" Don't Die With Your Music Still In You. " - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

From there I made it a point to start take extraordinary care of myself and reconnect back to God, slowly but surely having conversations with GOD, listening for my whispers and beginning to find myself in that new season. 

April of 2022, was the year that everything fell apart, that was the month that we were relocating to go start over in Florida to be with my now elderly father, after being there the previous summer to begin to try to rekindle our estranged relationship and so wanting to get to know his grandchildren, my husband and me, this was the opportunity I prayed for, for so many years I asked GOD to please help us find our way back to each other so I could salvage the time I had left with him. 

There was a BIG BUTT that had always interfered in our relationship was his new wife, who wanted to erase me from his memory and as she has had ulterior motives with him, another story for another day, I seriously could write a screenplay as my life feels like a Spanish novela, lol. 

We literally uprooted my family, my husband resigned from his job of 16 years, as per him promising him that he would help him start his business once we moved there, sold everything we owned, sold my beloved mommy van, as there were two of his cars at his house that he said I could use, we literally went there with the clothes on our backs and a Upack that we shipped there with the bigger things. 

To look back now I can see what GOD was doing, as it didn't work out, after 3 short rocky weeks there with him and his wife, he shared with us that it wasn't working out and we had to leave. Meanwhile the entire time we were there, all the promises that he made were now null and void, he had convinced us that he was in the process of divorcing  her and that she was not going to be there while we lived there, he mistreated my children, mistreated my husband who did nothing but try to improve his house and maintain it as he couldn't and made me feel like the little girl back when his abusive ways were at its all time highest.

 I knew after the first week there, I had that awful feeling that, it wasn't going to work, as his wife started unnecessary trouble, fights and arguments, the nonsense my children were exposed to left my heart broken as all I wanted was for us to make up for a lot of lost time, I was prepared to take care of him until his last day and it breaks my heart daily that, that will never come to pass. 

 I can see now, how he had to take my blinders off and see what was really happening, till this day right now, it's a hurt that I carry, it's a hurt that lingers as I grieve a parent that is still alive and chose another family over his only daughter. Its a hurt I carry of abandonment and feeling replaced, the abuse resurfaced, and it was in the final moments as we were trying to pack up our truck and head back to NY to go stay with my mother in law, until we got back on our feet again, I knew that was the last time I would ever see him again. 

A far cry from the goodbye we had in 2021, when he said he would wait for me to come back and start over. 

If you are grieving parent that is still alive, I am with you, its hard, its not easy and the feelings come and go like being on a rollercoaster you wish to get off of. I encourage you to allow yourself to feel your feelings, cry those ugly cries, attach yourself to GOD, and if it's one thing that has helped me tremendously, is to journal, to write out all the feelings, the good, the bad, the ugly, - get it all out and let it go and give it to GOD. 

I pray everyday that God helps me, get through this heartache, I pray that he watches over him, helps me heal this and find forgiveness in my heart, I am not there yet, but I am trying, because ultimately, I just want peace in my heart, I don't want animosity towards anyone, I wish nothing but love on everyone I meet, because I think like what would Jesus do. 

There is so much more to unpack, as there will be a PART 2 to this, remember what I said, sometimes your biggest thorns become your biggest blessings. 

Tomorrow I will share what happened when we returned to NY and all the crazy and ahmazzzzing that followed. 

The only thing I can tell you, is that TRUST IN HIM.

FOLLOW JESUS as He is Calling you to FOLLOW HIM, we are all his messengers to share the GOOD NEWS and be his faithful servants. 

May GOD Bless You All.

Sending you all so much love and healing hugs, 

Coach E. 

Elizabeth Schoonmaker